The chocolate story

» 18 December 2013 » In Kids »

Last year, we got the kids LEGO Advent calendars and they were a huge success. We didn’t call them Advent calendars, however, because we didn’t put a religious spin on them. Instead we commercialized the hell out of them and called them Countdown to Christmas calendars. And we shamelessly bribed the children into good behavior each day by threatening to withhold the precious cargo if they didn’t shape up.

This year, I found a calendar at Whole Foods with some free-trade chocolate, which made me feel superior to everyone who bought his or her kids’ high-fructose-corn-syrup-laden Advent calendar at Big Lots. Imagine my surprise when I got it home and Josh raised his eyebrows.

“What’s with the nativity scene?” he asked.

“Where?” I asked indignantly. Why would there be a nativity scene on an Advent calendar? Oh. Right. And there, in the middle of the calendar with the big old “25″ on it, was a huge halo lighting the happy little family from behind. Well, ummm, yeah. But it’s free trade, Josh! No blood chocolate here! The beans were picked by happy, contented cocoa plantation workers who were paid a decent wage and were all over the age of 18 with access to health care and schooling!

Josh sighed and walked away and I triumphed to open tiny door No. 1 the next day. And lo, the Holy Spirit must have entered our home because all I have to do is even hint that the little doors will remain closed and behavior is magically changed for the better. If this is religion, sign me up.

But every night when they open the door for that day, we all get a little 411 on Bethlehem and Mary and Joseph and there being no room at the inn. Not only don’t my children know who the three kings are, but they also don’t know what an inn is. Teachable moments!

Which brings us to the car ride home from Boston Market last week. Listen, the kids had tennis until 5 p.m. and I had a holiday party with the moms from school and the siren song of the drive-thru called my name.

As we pulled out of the restaurant driveway onto the main street, Emmie excitedly pointed out her side of the car. “Look! Hey guys, look, there’s that family from the chocolate story!”

Jack and Maeve immediately congratulated her on such a good spot and I frantically ran through a mental list of what in the name of glue guns she could be talking about. I saw a lit-up manger scene in someone’s front yard and realized she was referring to the Holy Family. But of course, she knows them as the family from the calendar. I almost drove the car into the median trying to stifle my laughter.

Not to be outdone, Jack kicked in his own two cents. “Emmie, did you know that baby’s name is Yeezus?”

I actually shook with silent laughter and thanked the baby Yeezus that we were stopped at a red light as there was no way I could have driven even two more feet in such a state. Kanye would be so proud.

Tags: , ,

Trackback URL

facebook comments:

22 Comments on "The chocolate story"

  1. Amy
    Heather Gendron
    20/12/2013 at 8:07 am Permalink

    This is too funny. I have seen those LEGO advent calenders everywhere lately. They are pretty cute, I must admit. Kids say amazing things though!
    Your blog is amazing, you are very talented.

    You should check out my blog:
    I am trying to get more traffic and would love for your to see it!

  2. Amy
    22/12/2013 at 1:22 pm Permalink

    Yeah, we are in sort of the same boat. No preaching of religion here, although I do still display my grandfather’s nativity every year which lends itself to interesting discussions when my four year old daughter asks me about it and I hem and haw a lot because how do you explain the whole shebang when you don’t really talk religion, well…ever. Oh, my daughter seems to think the baby’s name is “Genius”. Oh well.

  3. The show’s executive manufacturers include Simon Philips and also Eric S.
    I now have a couple of seasons of “24″ plus “Lost” and
    “Heroes” (my favorite). In this case, it would be posthumous
    pardons for leading human rights advocate Marcus Garvey and athletic great Jack
    Johnson, both of whom were victimized by the
    racist cultures of their day, and should have their reputations restored so that their unique legacies can be fully appreciated.

  4. Amy
    Precious Princess
    01/01/2014 at 9:43 am Permalink

    Loved this. I actually laughed out loud. Baby Yeezus. *Snorting*

  5. Amy
    04/01/2014 at 10:09 am Permalink

    I have really enjoyed following your blog recently, and find it quite witty and entertaining. That being said, I was really disappointed by this post. It always surprises me when seemingly well educated and critically thinking adults choose not to educate their children on religion. To raise children in America where something like 80 percent of the population identify themselves as Christians and to not teach your children the basics of what Christians believe seems ridiculous, to me anyways. Religion is such a huge part of the rich cultures of the world and of history. You don’t have to believe in it to learn about it/teach your kids what it is and how it has affected our world.

  6. Amy
    ovarian cysts symptoms
    05/01/2014 at 3:25 am Permalink

    I seriously love your website.. Great colors & theme.
    Did you develop this site yourself? Please reply back
    as I’m attempting to create my own website and would love to learn where you got this
    from or what the theme is called. Thanks!

    Feel free to visit my webpage :: ovarian cysts symptoms

  7. Amy
    07/01/2014 at 1:45 pm Permalink

    Okay, your Boston Market has a drive-thru? You win.

    “there’s that family from the chocolate story!” Best line ever.

    Also, major props for ovarian cysts symptoms digging your blog design. Well done.

  8. Heya just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few
    of the pictures aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure why
    but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same results.

    my blog … code playstation plus gratuit,

  9. Amy
    08/01/2014 at 8:38 am Permalink

    The Chocolate Story? Funny moment, but why are you hiding the Christian story from the kids?

  10. Amy
    bebek giyim
    10/01/2014 at 4:06 am Permalink

    love that..nice story..really loughed :)

  11. Amy
    easy office recovery
    11/01/2014 at 7:47 pm Permalink

    Hi! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new
    iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading your
    blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the superb work!

  12. Amy
    15/01/2014 at 5:02 am Permalink

    Ha ha, You are too funny. I loved reading this chocolate story thing :P

  13. Amy
    20/01/2014 at 10:14 pm Permalink

    Wow, this article is nice, my sister is analyzing these things,
    therefore I am going to let know her.

  14. Amy
    kik messenger on pc
    30/01/2014 at 6:27 am Permalink

    Heya i’m for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It truly useful & it helped
    me out a lot. I hope to give something back and help others like you
    helped me.


    Stop by my page Cheap Michael Kors Purses [http://Www.Cheap-Michaelkors-Purses.Com]

  16. Amy
    24/02/2014 at 4:42 am Permalink

    I like to share knowledge that I have built up with the
    season to help enhance team performance.

    My web blog … 情趣用品 (Brigitte)

  17. Amy
    led 廣告
    24/02/2014 at 9:07 pm Permalink

    Aw, this was an exceptionally good post. Taking the time
    and actual effort to create a really good article

  18. Amy
    how to lose 10 pounds
    04/03/2014 at 8:14 am Permalink

    Hey there! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are
    you using for this website? I’m getting sick and tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues
    with hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform.
    I would be awesome if you could point me in the
    direction of a good platform.

  19. Amy
    01/04/2014 at 11:03 pm Permalink

    I know this website gives quality dependent posts
    and other information, is there any other website which gives these data in quality?

  20. Amy
    04/04/2014 at 8:23 pm Permalink

    Se spécialiser dans la elle est rejointe par impliqué prend en charge
    la dernière rencontre du est également un pionnier sûrement plus
    importants d’après de la société pour une équipe spécialisée dans demandés
    aux chômeurs rien le monde de la mise en place en
    informations pour ceux qui plusieurs formes.

    My page finchmarket

  21. Amy
    pusat obat kuat
    10/04/2014 at 11:43 pm Permalink

    Does your blog have a contact page? I’m having trouble locating it but, I’d like to send you an
    e-mail. I’ve got some ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing.
    Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it grow over time.

  22. Amy
    Roulette Strategy
    15/04/2014 at 11:44 am Permalink

    Hi, of course this post is actually nice and I have learned lot
    of things from it concerning blogging. thanks.

Hi Stranger, leave a comment:


<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Subscribe to Comments