Snarky Mommy

A month ago now, we transitioned Maeve to a toddler bed. I say “a” toddler bed because we do not actually own a toddler bed. Toddler beds were what I believed to be an unnecessary purchase — why buy another thing that they’ll only use for a few months and then grow/transition out of before buying the big-ticket big-boy or big-girl bed?

Both Jack and Emmie went straight from the crib to the twin Hemnes bed from Ikea and all was right with the world. And usually, we had a sibling in line for the nice crib, so it worked out well for us. When Maeve turned 3, as is the Snarky 3-year-old birthright, we told her she was getting a new! big-girl! bed! for her birthday. I went to pick up the Hemnes daybed at good ol’ Ikea and the salesperson smugly told me it was sold out. What the? Ikea sells out of beds? Do they sell out of meatballs, too???? If so, I better stock up.

But because we had a very limited amount of time to get Maeve in a bed, actually more like staying in a bed, I needed to get something but quick. To the rescue, my friend, Tracy, she the mother of four and owner of a toddler bed that by some miracle of GOD wasn’t currently in use by one of her gaggle of children. I picked it up, put it together in about 10 minutes, and we were in business.

And — fates be damned, I know since I am typing this on the Interwebs, Maeve got in that toddler bed and never got out a single time. She lays down, goes to sleep and calls for us when she wants to get out in the morning or after nap. But I was itching for her room to look all pretty and finished, so I kept checking the online Ikea supply page for the last month. Wouldn’t you know, my stalking of the Swedes paid off this week and they finally had 10 beds in stock. I sped off to Bolingbrook — careful to make sure Drew Peterson wasn’t around to make me his next wife/victim — and picked up the whole set all by myself. Kudos to the big, strong Ikea men who assisted with the loading and to Aunt Marnie for her strongs in the unloading.

Today was assembly day and while I gave it a valiant effort, the drawer assembly confounded me for a good hour and Josh finally got sick of watching me turn the instruction booklet over and over and over again and shooed me out of the way. I think he just didn’t want me violating his precious power drill. I left to take the kids to tennis and returned to a mostly assembled bed. A mostly-assembled non-level bed. Like I walked in the room and said, “Whoa, what the hell, dude?” After arguing about rationally discussing the best way to rectify it, I got out a level and smugly proved my point. A quick retrofitting of a metal thingamabob solved our issue and away we went. The bed, save for the damn drawers, was finally done at 8 p.m.

She went to bed an hour late, but damn, she was happy.